Diagnosis: Insanity
by twinfrodo
Summary: When Dib and Gaz have a school assignment at the locaol asylum Zim puts Gir there in an atempt to conquar the Earth. It crossovers with everything! It's kind of like a variety show
1. Chapter 1

Zim puts Gir into an institution to try to take over the world and it's pretty much a crossover with everything and Gir is involved in a group therapy group that includes; Gir (IVZ), Gollum (lord of the rings), Drusilla (Buffy the vampire slayer), Dobby (Harry Potter), and Wobbuffett (Pokemon).

Diagnoses: Insanity

As Featured in Invader Zim and the Fiery Cupy Thingy

Episode 1: Psychological Exam

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAA!" Zim screeched while his alien spaceship sent giant explosions onto the earth.

"So um... what exactly are we doing?" His tiny blue robot Gir asked while scratching his head.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS?" Zim said flailing his hands at his assistant. "I am an a-l-i-e-n and not only an alien I am AN IRKEN INVADER! And what do invaders do? Hmmm?"

"Umm give me a second... ummm it's on the tip of my head..."

"You don't know do you?"

"Wait a second almost have it almost ERRRRGH!" Gir said as he started to pound his hands on the ground. "Allllmooosst... what did you ask again?"

"WE INVADE! INVADERS INVADE! I am an invader so I am thusly invading these STUPID HUMANS!"

"Oh I get it now... So ummm what are we doing again?" Gir said as Zim slumped over the controls with a sigh.

"I like to sing! La la la la la la la la!" Gir started to sing unbeknownst to the grief of his master.

"What did I do to deserve this? I always thought I was a good Irken... well except for the whole invading the Earth and being umm full of alien evil..."

"La La La! Hey I just remembered something!"

"Well why don't you stop bothering me and tell someone who cares!"

"Ok." Gir said as he went into the back and came back with a telephone and started to call someone.

"Who are you calling?"

"You said to tell someone who cares jeesh!" Gir said as the other line started to ring.

"Fine keep your secrets, I knew I should have kept that zit thing. Who cares, I guess I shall return to CONQUERING THESE STUPID HUMANS!" Zim said as he halfheartedly played with the controls.

The phone kept ringing and as each ring rang Zim curiosity drifted him further and further from his work until it began to gnaw at him like a knife in the gut. This continued as whoever was on the receiving end was kept from answering. It then became to much and Zim's blood began to rise... _Wait a minute who does Gir know?_ He then was full engaged in his "work".

"Umm hello Dib! YES THIS IS ME! Ummmm just thought you should know Zim's about to destroy the Earth using his MIGHTY shipy... thing... We are about twenty seconds from the school... almost there... almost... WERE HERE!... Your Welcome." Gir said as he hung up the phone.

"So who were you talking to?" Zim asked not paying much attention.

"Oh just Dib."

"Oh that's nice... WHAT! YOU ARE CONFESSING MY MOST DIABOLICAL PLANS WITH MY MOST HATED ENEMY DIB?"

"Well he is the only other person I know."

"All right Gaz it's only you and me. We are all that is left that stand between Earth and the Irken empire!" Dib said as he and his sister stood at the front of the school.

"Oh, how exciting." Gaz said dripping with venom and sarcasm.

"Here he comes! Gaz WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?" Dib screeched in horror as his sister pulled out a water balloon and threw it at the alien craft causing it to fall to the ground and crash.

"THAT WAS FUN CAN WE DO IT AGAIN?" Gir exclaimed as he jumped out of the craft.

"SO DIB! You win this round but I shall return, OH AND MY VENGEANCE SHALL BE GREAT!" Zim said as he removed a piece of debris from his clothes.

"You have something on your neck." Gaz said flatly.

"What is it?" As Zim frantically checked his neck.

"Your head... maybe you should get it removed."

"C'mon Gaz we have to go to the asylum now were people are locked up like they are supposed to be." Dib said giving a look at his alien adversary.

"What is this asylum and why are they locked up there?" Zim said scratching his chin.

"It's were people who are I-N-S-A-N-E go. We have to go help out or whatever as a school project." Gaz said twitching at the thought of being helpful.

"And how long do people stay at this asylum?" Zim asked intrigued.

"Well it depends..." Dib started until something excited Gir.

"WHOOOOOHOOOOOOO! I'm going home and making french toast and cupcakes!"

"I don't think they would ever let him out." Dib said as he and his melancholy sister departed.

"THAT'S IT I'M A GENIUS! GENIUS!" Zim exclaimed when his mortal enemy was out of earshot.

"Are we going to dress up like clowns and scream like a crazy person!"

"No Gir." Zim said bluntly.

"Oh man."

"Gir your crazy..." Zim said as his assistant looked at him blankly. "We shall send you to this asylum to keep an eye on the FILTHY Dib. And I shall join this school project... maybe I could get extra credit I'm failing math."

"Awww that's too bad... So what are we doing?"

"Don't worry where we're going you'll fit right in."

Zim and Gir walked into the Asylum door way where one of the nurses directed them to the head of emissions office. As they traveled the corridors Gir became skittish as various screams came from the other room causing him to leap into his master's arms, in which he responded by dropping him harshly onto the ground. Then they finally arrived at the office to find... _Ms. Bitters!_

"Yes I run the asylum, now sit down!" Bitters said with a hiss. "Now which of you is of need of the psychological exam."

Zim raised the little robot's arm up as Bitter's continued. "So what do you have to say for your defense?"

Gir then gasped ready with an argument to claim his sanity then Bitter's quickly said, "This one is clearly insane!"

"But I didn't say anything."

"I know... DIB!" Bitter's screeched as Dib entered the room.

"ZIM!"

"DIB!"

"GIR!" Gir exclaimed as the other two boys stared each other down.

"ENOUGH! Dib you will take Gir to meet the others in his group. While I talk to Zim about how he can earn some extra credit, he's flunking math now go! Go!"

"Ok Gir this is the group." Dib said as he sat the robot in front of a group of four others. One A gnarled bald creature, another small with pointy ears, one a woman with long black hair and a red dress, and the last some sort of blue thing with a black tail.

"Ok This is Gollum... or ummm Smeagol. He um has spilt personalities."

"Well hello my precious, are you tirxy? Are you rotten? Nasty? Huh PRECIOUS!" Gollum said right in front of Gir's face.

"Well I don't think so."

"That's what they all say don't they precious? Yes trixy, nasty, false!"

"Ok moving on this is Dobby, he has separation issues he was once employed by these people and someone gave him clothes or something and has lost his groove." Dib said as the shaky figure came up to Gir.

"It's very nice to meet you... Do you want some tea? Or maybe Dobby can clean your room a bit when it get's messy?"

"Ok!"

"OH Dobby is happy!" Dobby said as he sat down.

"This is Drusilla, well she is just plain undeniably insane, oh and she likes to bite people." Dib said rubbing his neck.

"Oh sorry about that... My tummy was growling like a little piggy. Oink, Oink."

"I LIKE HER!" Gir said jumping up and down.

"When I look into you I can hear the ocean."

"Aww... she likes me too."

"Ok and last but not least... This is Wobbuffet ummm I don't know what to say about him."

"Oh we do my precious may we do it, may we do it!" Gollum said jumping up and down.

"Fine." Dib said as the lights went out.

"Prepares for troubles my precious." Gollum said as a spotlight fell on him. "And make it doubles. To protect the world from devastation. To unites each nation with the precious. To denounce the evils of nasty hobbitesses. To extend our reaches to wiggly fishes. Gollum. Smeagol. Team Precious blasts off like a Wraith out of Morgul. So gives us the precious or prepares to fights."

"Dobby, that's right." Dobby said jumping in the air.

"Wobbuffet."

"HMMMM." Drusilla added striking a Madonna-esque pose and then the lights came back on.

"Well I guess that explains Wobbuffet." Dib said with a sigh.

"No it doesn't."

"Your right, but every time Wobbuffet meets someone they have to do that... It's kind of stupid." Dib explained.

"Wobbufet likes to play games, we all have pretty little games all lined up for you my sweet." Drusilla said holding the robot's hand.

"EWWW Like hopscotch!" Gir said as Drusilla took him to the rest of the group.

"It has begun... Gir has infiltrated these crazy people... the Earth is as good as mine." Zim said as he looked on spookily.

"What was that?" Dib asked.

"Oh nothing... nothing at all..."


	2. Chapter 2

Episode 2: Polar Opposite

This Episodes Guest Stars; Beast Boy and Raven From Teen Titans.

"I've brought you your pills or whatever." Gaz said as she entered the main hall to meet Gir and his therapy group.

"Gaz what do you feel about eternal life?" Drusilla asked petting her own face.

"If I had to spend an eternal life with you five crazies... I think I'd kill myself." Gaz said as she threw some pills at her as she gave a pout.

"Gaz these are very sick people they need our help." Dib said as he handed the group juice.

"Yes! Sick! Poor, poor Smeagol. Master knows, master understands!" Gullum said hopping a little.

"Yeah because he belongs here." Gaz said bluntly as Gollum spilled his juice all over him.

"Yes precious he does master knows! Once precious takes a holds of us it never lets go." Gollum said as he took a sticky hand and clamped on to Dib's jacket.

"Wobbuffet!"

"Gaz... Please help me." Dib said standing still.

"Back! Back! Crazy person!" Gaz said as she used the tray she brought the pills in and bashed the poor creature.

"Eww! Do I get a Tic-Tac! Do I get a Tic-Tac!" Gir said running up to the two siblings.

"Yes here you get the blue kind today." Dib said holding out a small cup to the robot.

"I like the blue kind!"Gir said as he ate the entire cup along with his pills.

"Well it looks like you guys will get a new friend today!" Dib said to the group.

"EWWW! Is it a frog?" Gir asked clapping his hands.

"No."

"Can it be?" Gir asked smiling.

"Her name is Raven she is being put on an overnight observation by her friend Garfield Logan." Dib said with aw. "Wait a minute they are the... TEEN TITANS! Gaz! A Teen Titan is being put into observation."

"Please... curb my enthusiasm." Gaz said as she left the room.

"She's dark all dark... I like it..." Drusilla said with a blank look in her eyes.

"WOW! Dude look at all these cool crazy people!" Beastboy said as he and Raven entered the room.

"It's Beastboy!" Dib said getting out a small tablet. "Can I have your autograph?"

"Sure Dude!" Beastboy said as he scribbled on the tablet.

"You look like ZIM!" Gir said hugging the metamorphic teen.

"Wow little dude I need to breath."

"Beastboy is nothing like Zim!" Dib said as Zim entered the room.

"An Irken here on this filthy piece of rotten fruit?" Zim said as the boy changed into an Irken.

"Look dude I don't think your human." Beastboy said reverting back to his original form.

"Can we go now?" Raven said aback in the corner.

"Look Raven, Robin said you have to stay here for 24 hours to cool down or whatever k." He said giving a goofy grin.

"I am not a crazy person."

"DUDE! You blew up the living room!" Beastboy said with a squeak in his voice.

"I was having a bad day."

"Wobbuffet!"

"It won't be so bad look at this cool thing." Beastboy said as he transformed into a Wobbuffet.

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet replied as he and Beastboy started to bounce around.

"This creature annoys me." Raven said as Dobby pulled on her cape.

"If mistress would like, Dobby will fold her socks."

"I like him." Raven said still cooly.

"If you want the group can do their motto for you." Dib offered.

"They have a motto?" Raven said as Gaz entered the room when the two stared each other down a shock went threw both of them.

"Zim! What are you doing to them?" Din inquired.

"I haven't done anything MEAT!"

Smoke rose and fell before them and when it cleared everyone on the room gasped... Raven and Gaz were wearing pink...

"Hello my name is Gaz what is yours?" Gaz said smiling wide.

"Mine's Raven! Lets be best friends!" Raven said as the most perkiest thing on earth.

"Some one pinch me." Dib said as the alien did so in which Dib hit him sharply in the gutt.

"MY SPLEEN!"

"The two's negative energies must be repelling each other causing them to be... happy." Dib explained.

"Dude make her, her again."

"When you need a friend who are you going to call?" Raven sung.

"Raven! Raven!" Gaz sang as they played a game with their hands. "From our asylum we will have a ball."

"When I'm board and stuck on a rack."

"You can rest knowing I've got your back."

"Cuz when the world is losing all control." Raven sang holding the note for a while.

" Best friends..."

"GO!" The Two finished together.

"Excuse me I must vomit!" Zim said as he ran out of the room.

"What will turn them back?" Dib asked everyone.

"You know... I'm very hungry... I haven't ate in days." Drusilla added rubbing her stomach.

"YOUR GOING TO EAT THEM?" Beastboy asked in shock.

"Don't worry I won't let the little wormies get them they will be young and perky forever."

"NO!" Everyone yelled at her. "Wobbuffet!"

"How about this!" Gir said as he shoved some cookies in his mouth and chewed them and then stuck out his tung at the girls with cookie bits still on it.

"Your Silly!" Gaz said as the two giggled.

"Well that helped." Dib said with a sigh.

"Oh we love you!" Raven said as the two girls were rubbing Gollum head as he let his tongue out like a puppy.

"Wait I've got it! The Negative energies short circuited each other what if we show them something that out matched their cuteness!" Dib suggested proud of himself.

Drusilla then took Gir and rapped him in a blanket and started to cradle him. "I-I love you mommy."

"Aww is that your baby?" Gaz said giggling uncontrollably.

Drusilla then put Gir down and put on a bonnet and brought out a cane. "Ba ba black sheep have you any wool?"

"Meow." Gir responded while on all fours.

"Can we play this game?" Raven asked sweetly.

"Try something else." Dib told the two.

Drusilla then threw away her bonnet and Gir started to sing. "I am twenty going on thirty two."

"I am... I think I've lost count."

"Ok you two are done." Dib said as the two went away pouting.

"I thought we did good." Gir said sadly.

"Dude! Why didn't I think of it earlier!" Beastboy said as he walked up to the two girls.

"Hey Beastboy are you going to play with us?" Raven said to the green boy.

"Yeah I think I will." Beastboy said as he changed to the cutest form he has ever changed into... a kitty cat!

"No! NO! We can't handle that much cuteness!" Raven screamed as Beastboy gave a small purr and the two's pink drained away leaving them in their usual blackened state.

"I would thank you or whatever, except then I would have to kill you." Gaz told the boy as he changed back.

"Ummm.. Your welcome! C'mon Raven were getting out of here! " Beastboy said as he grabbed Raven and started to leave.

"I thought I was staying for overnight observation." Raven inquired.

"Robin will understand." Beastboy said as the two left the room.

"Awww zimmy boy left." Gir said with a tear.

"Forgive me if I throw up." Gaz added.

"It's good having you back." Dib finished.


End file.
